“Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-2 NLT)

One thing about the psalms—they don’t pull any punches. The unknown writer of Psalm 1 lays out two paths—following the wicked or delighting in the law of the Lord. No other option. Two paths. Choose one.

It doesn’t seem that black and white in real life, does it? The advice given by a well-meaning friend doesn’t seem like “advice of the wicked” and hanging out with a particular group doesn’t seem like standing “around with sinners.” I wouldn’t say that you must close your life to those people who most need to know the Savior—you may be the only positive influence they have in that direction. So how can you follow the advice of these verses and still be an effective witness to the gospel message to your friends who need to hear it?

The key is in the verbs: “follow,” “stand around,” “join in.” While it may be important and valuable to continue your relationship with unbelieving friends, you must always be aware of a line that you should not cross. Back to those two choices. Your ultimate allegiance is to your Lord, and so, as the verse says, you “delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.” Two other important verbs: “delight,” “meditate.”

So let’s go back to your unbelieving friends. You love them. You appreciate their skills at their jobs or the gifts they have in other areas. They’re funny—over lunch you usually end up laughing until you cry.

But take a moment to assess the conversation, the assumptions, the advice tossed around. If this is all good clean fun, then you are blessed to enjoy such friendships and be able to build the kind of trust with these people that may lead to conversations about eternal things. However, are your friends involved in actions that, while permissible in the world, you would consider wrong (and you’ve built that opinion based on your meditating day and night in God’s Word)? Is a friend contemplating an affair or making excuses for one? Is another friend spreading gossip that is really none of anyone’s business? Are you all laughing at the expense of someone else?

You see, that’s where you have to “not follow” the advice, or “stand around” as wrong actions are condoned, or “join in” when hurtful gossip is spread. That’s where you need to draw the line.

The psalm writer clearly explains that in order to find joy, you must not follow along, condone, or join in activities you know to be wrong. Instead, you stand firmly on God’s truth, you “delight in the law of the Lord,” and you can see the black from the white because you have soaked in God’s Word day and night.

So what do you do? You needn’t pull a holier-than-thou attitude, nor do you need to come across as judgmental and condemning. Because of your great delight and joy in knowing God’s truth, you seek his guidance for how to deal with a certain situation with your friends. Maybe it’s a late-night coffee klatch with the friend who’s considering an affair—talking personally to her about your concerns. Maybe it’s just turning the conversation at the lunch table a different direction when you see it going all gossipy. Maybe it’s inserting your opinion kindly but strongly—after all, you’re probably not the only one doing so. These are your friends after all. They value what you have to say. Say what you have to say with kindness and conviction.

You see, you’ve settled the issues with God by finding your deepest joy in him and his Word. Your friends will be impressed with your consistency, your boldness, your honesty, and, above all, your joy. When you delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night, you’ll be like a tree planted by the riverbank, bearing fruit in each season, your leaves never withering (Psalm 1:3). You’ll be a source of refreshment to your friends, your neighbors, indeed everyone you cross paths with today.